Family Fast

After Ally revealed the truth and made it known that she wanted to help orphans, she enlisted her siblings to help too. They all began asking if we could adopt an orphan. Tim and I listened but were also realistic and a bit overwhelmed. We knew that adding a child to our family would be a stretch. We already enjoyed our four kids, but kids take a lot of energy! We were overwhelmed too because we had no clue where to begin asking about opportunities to help orphans by way of adoption (and were we really serious enough to broach the subject outside of our family dining room table?). We also didn't want to make an emotional decision, so we continued to pray and encouraged our kids to do the same.

Well, Spring came, and the kids tired of our automatic response to the adoption question, "Keep praying, honey." So, finally, while planning a Spring Break trip to Gulf Shores, Alabama, Tim and I decided to talk to the kids seriously about adoption on our trip. We enjoyed a sunny (but cold) stay at the beach in Alabama and spoke frankly with the kids about adopting. We talked about the things that may have to change. We suggested foster care. We shared the exciting parts, the risky parts, and the areas of sacrifice. At the end of our vacation, we decided to "do" something.

Tim and I and the kids decided to commit to fasting during the month of April. We fasted from eating out. I know this seems trivial, but for the Shoafs, this is no small feat. We eat out. A lot. Tim visits fast food drive-thrus and gas station fountain pop stations enough that the attendants know his name and order by the sound of his voice! I'm a working mom and have ordered my share of pizzas through the school weeks. I'm not saying that to expose our bad eating habits, but to say that this certainly was a sacrifice for us. We made orphans our prayer focus for the month of April.

 This is us in Alabama, ironically at a restaurant:)

We felt the sacrifice. About every three days at least on of the kids would beg to order a pizza, go to a restaurant, or grab a fountain pop at our local deli. Each time we reminded them that God honors sacrifice and we prayed specifically for God to make a way for us to help at least one orphan.

Did God answer? Did He show us what to do? Not right away. In fact, on our last day of the fast, we sat around the kitchen table and I asked, "So, what's next? What do you think we should do about helping an orphan?"

Jackson summed it up best when he said, "I think we should keep praying AND go out to eat!"

So, we went out to CoCo China Buffet! AND we prayed. We also contacted the organization that Stephanie Fast endorses which gives families interested in adoption some direction. Loving Shepherd Ministries does a lot of things, but one service they provide is an adoption questionnaire customized for families to fill out according to their specific family dynamics.

From our contact with Loving Shepherd Ministries, we discovered that our family would probably be a better fit for an older orphan (4 years old, at least), but still younger than our youngest (the twins were 7). After determining that, they provided information for programs geared for older children. And that lead us to narrow our adoption focus. We learned that adopting an older child from the U.S. is a sticky process. We also learned that to adopt Internationally, our family size would prohibit us from most countries. In the end, Loving Shepherd Ministries told us that Ethiopia would be a good place to start in our inquiry for adoption.

From here we felt paralyzed. There were so many agencies to choose from and so much corruption in the adoption world. (I started reading blogs and googling information which turns up miraculous stories alongside stories of deception and trafficking.) We also began to realize the immensity of the process and costs. We didn't know what to do. So, we kept praying, (does that sound familiar?) and God kept answering.