Wednesday, December 18, 2013

And Sometimes We Are Stubborn and Stupid

Back to the adoption progress...and a bump in the road where we discover how stupid and stubborn we are.

After we had been officially matched with a set of boy/girl twins from Ghana, we had paperwork to complete. The documents that the foreign government requires are often referred to as the "dossier." For Ghana, the documents were manageable to gather, sign, and pass along to our adoption agency. The entire process in gathering these documents was about a month (but would have been about half that time if we would have remembered to sign the most important one!).

Upon beginning our official process with Cradle of Hope, they offered to place Edmond and Edina in Ghanian foster care until we are able to bring them home. This is an outstanding opportunity, and we felt confident about the process in general and love the personal feel of connecting with the orphanage director over the foster family selection. In fact, a few months prior, the agency handling our home-study excitedly encouraged us to get them out of the orphanage and into a home if it was ever offered to us. They had seen countless benefits from cases past in which foster care had greatly enhanced the transition process of inter-country adoptions. Here we were, with an excellent proposition.

However, there was a price.

Now, this won't paint a very pretty picture of Tim and I...but it is where we are (were) at. I'm just keeping it real here!

International adoption is expensive. We knew that going into the process. We understood that if God was calling us to this, he would give us means to cover any financial requirement. But this foster care cost was hard to swallow.

First of all, we were certain that the amount they needed, or charged, greatly exceeded the amount we imagined a child (or two) required for monthly care in Ghana. We knew they would be fed better than the one meal of beans and rice they received at the orphanage, but couldn't imagine food in Ghana being more expensive than food in the U.S. We also counted the cost of schooling and some lodging costs and our numbers were still much less that what they wanted us to contribute every month.

Secondly, we wondered, where would all that money go? We were sure our kids would reap the benefits, but with all of it?!?!? Tim has been especially leery during this entire process, politely asking the agency to clarify procedures and requirements to ensure ethical behavior on our end and theirs. Would this money be entirely used for ethical purposes? We didn't know. We couldn't know. Sure, the agency said that it would. Was their word enough?

Third, this cost was something we hadn't planned on. We had money for our adoption saved, but this cost would add a substantial amount to our bottom line. And, unlike the other expenses that came a bit at a time and then in one hunk, this would be a consistent withdrawal from our coveted savings.

There, I said it, "coveted." It was our money. We had worked hard for it and wanted to use it in the adoption process, but for the end goal...not during and because of the process to people we weren't sure we could trust.

But time was running out. If we wanted our kids to be placed in a home, we needed to send three months of foster care money, NOW.

We knew we would do it. THEY WERE OUR KIDS, FOR PETE'S SAKE. We thought about our biological kids in an orphanage setting with an opportunity to live in a house with a bathroom, kitchen table, and mamma to tuck them in at night and longed for Edmond and Edina to have the same. Yes, it was time to send a check.

I remember the day we sent it. I was off work for the afternoon, addressing other adoption paperwork. Tim and I met at home to look at our checklist and take care of everything possible in those few hours. At around 1:00, Tim wrote the check out, addressed the envelope, placed a stamp in the top corner, and cringed.

"Let's pray over this." I suggested, still feeling uneasy about sending our money off into the great unknown.

And so we prayed. Prayers that the money would be used wisely. Asking God to help us to let go of our money. Pleading that he would use it to care greatly for our kids in Ghana. We prayed for God to help us understand that this check and situation was in his hands and not ours.

Three hours later, we felt God smile (maybe even chuckle) over us.

The kids came home from school and I was busy helping them with school work when Tim came in from the mailbox. He was going through the mail and he passed me an opened envelope and said with a smirk on his face, "Here, look at this...I think you'll find it very interesting."

With a curious look of my own, I felt the small, thick note. When I opened the simple, handwritten note, cash fell onto my arm....lots of cash. The note simply said, "Tim, Lana + Family, Please use this for your adoption. Praying that everything goes well." I counted the money....almost an entire month's worth of money we were required to pay for foster care!

Tears formed again. (I'm not usually a crier, I promise. This whole adoption thing and watching God work is amazing enough to warrant tears, even from me!)

Hadn't we prayed two hours before about money? Hadn't we doubted the process and our capability two hours prior? Hadn't we struggled to "let go" of "our" cash to aid the two orphans we've been praying for?

Yes, God was smiling. He knew that we had no clue about "our" money. He knew that we held too tightly to what seemed rightfully ours. He knew we were being stubborn and stupid, even in this no-brainer situation to help our kids.

He showed us.

He showed us that our money is not really ours. Just like the money in the envelope was not really ours...or the anonymous giver's. He showed us that HE alone is the provider.

And he can be very generous.

Since that afternoon, we have received a similar envelope in the mail, covering another entire month's foster care. And in our sharing, a couple had previously asked if they could do the same. So, here we are, one month into foster care for Edmond and Edina and the Lord has paid for every day of it and the next two months to come!

We trust that He will continue to provide. (Side note, Tim plows snow for extra money in the winters and to date he has pushed snow 3 times more so far this year than any other year!) God is good, even when we are stupid and stubborn.

We have since created an account with adopttogether.com for such donations. At this web address, anyone can donate to our adoption and receive a receipt (the gift can be tax deductible) and be assured that the money is used for adoption expenses only. We are granted money from our account only when we show receipts of our adoption expenses and it must be approved by their board of directors.

Please do not feel obligated, but if you've wondered how to help or give, this is the answer. The right side bar of this blog has a direct link to our AdoptTogether profile and account and will take you through the donation process painlessly. Or, if you want to give, but not online, you can always send an anonymous note and make me cry:)




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