A Different Kind of Christmas

Christmas will be different this year. Tim and I discussed a while back that we should cut back or even forego all the gift-giving this Christmas.

Tim is always looking for a way out of the commercialism and the "gimme" fever that settles in our house every November 26th (or so...depending on when the Black Friday ads come out). I, on the other hand, love, love, love gift giving and I'm at the height of my game during the holidays! But, after discussing with Tim, I realized that it would be difficult to celebrate fully around the Christmas tree on December 25th knowing two of our kids are spending Christmas morning in a steamy country across the ocean with much less fanfare. We also acknowledged that it would be an excellent area to cut back in because our kids really don't need anything. And, Tim argued, it was an opportunity to live with less and nurture the value of contentment in our kids. It sounded so idealistic.

Well, we received our first text about exchanging names for Christmas a few weeks ago, which I avoided because I didn't know what to say. Were we really going to sit out? Our idealistic idea turned into a picture of genuine torture for the Shoaf kids. I could see clearly in my mind, all of the Shoaf cousins "oohing" and "aahing" over perfectly picked gifts they exchanged while our poor, pitiful four would longingly look at beautifully wrapped packages, trying not to show their jealousy, secretly wishing one was for them. Ugh. We needed to talk.

We brought it up over dinner (a lot of things happen over dinner, I am realizing as I continue to post to my blog!). Tim just flat out asked the kids what they really wanted to do. Did they want a regular Christmas, or did they want to try to sacrifice gifts this year so that next year we could do Christmas with all SIX of our kids?

We were surprised at the responses.

Ally was very fine with it. Keep in mind, she has "Kisses From Katie" mentality and would give just about anything for an orphan.

Grace toughed through it. She was clearly struggling, but agreed that it was the right thing to do.

Jackson spoke matter-of-fact about the whole issue. Concluding that it certainly was the right thing to do.

Josie's excitement was difficult to hide. She loved the idea!

Well, that was easier than we thought. It was decided: there would be no gifts around our Christmas tree this Christmas. Next, we asked about family exchanges and what they thought about those, and the responses were the same. There would be absolutely no gift-buying in our household this Christmas.

We told Tim's family about it over the weekend. With nods, they told us they understood.

Tim's family is rather large. He has two older sisters and they have three kids a piece. He also has three step-sisters, two of them also have kids. Brooke has two darling girls and Steph has four (a singlet and then a set of triplets...don't drink the water at our Christmases unless you want to run the risk of having multiples!). Christmastime at Grandpa Jack and Grandma Sue's is quite the ordeal. The tree skirt can't be seen with the mountain of gifts piled under and around the tree! We have a family exchange, and Jack and Sue are always gracious with their gifts, so there is plenty to go around on Christmas Day.

That's why Sue's text the next day came as a surprise. She asked if it was okay if we forgot about the exchange altogether and had all the kids bring a small gift for Edmond and Edina.

Oh my!

Tears came to my eyes again. Then I felt guilty. This had not been our motive or imagined outcome. I apologized and reassured her that we didn't want anyone to feel like they also had to give up the exchange.

Then she told me it was all Brooke's idea. Brooke knew that kids even as small as hers would make complete sense of giving up a Christmas gift for cousins waiting to join our family from across the ocean. So, now those darling little girls with pigtails are shopping for kids they've never met but want to love. My heart melts just thinking of it!

I can't think of a better "different" way to celebrate the birth of love itself. Tim and I are incredibly blessed with this opportunity to add to our family. We are beside ourselves in our wait to meet our kids for the first time! We can't wait to go through these gifts with our kids in Africa and show them photos of all the aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents waiting to share life with them and love them in a "Christmas" kind of way all the time.

Yes, this different kind of Christmas may just be one of our favorites so far! (Although, Lord willing, the next one's sure to be pretty historic!)